Wandering Wonders

I’ve been really tense about my future lately. Last night I had a dream that I was driving at night, and my front window fogged to the point that I could not see.  I was driving in Auburn, and was on a road that I thought might have been one way and was going the wrong way. I was not sure.  All of a sudden I saw a sign that said exit fifty-seven above me, as in the exit fifty-seven in Auburn, but it looked like the bridge that goes over the bay in Mobile.  I could not see because of the rain, so I ended up missing the bridge and drove right off the side into the water.  The bridge loomed so high above everything else that I fell for a really long time, for hundreds of feet, but my car did not toss or tumble. I felt okay, and thought about how strangely calm the falling was when I was falling, and what my mangled body would look like when they found me.  My car, however,  was at the same angle as it was driving on the road.  Gravity, except for the fact that I was falling, did not have any other effect.  I do not remember landing. So that’s how I have felt lately. Driving, but not in control of the “car”.  I think this is more of a psychological fear than anything.

  As you may or may not know, I have applied to only two Universities: the Jagiellonian University in Cracow, Poland, and the University of North Dakota.  I want to go to these two for my Master’s.  At the UND, they have this really awesome Summer Institute of Linguistics.    They are affiliated with Wycliffe, the Bible Translators.  In 2006 I attended Wycliffe’s Linguistics camp and fell in love and knew that I was very much interested in Linguistics. Wycliffe’s headquarters (?) in North Carolina were so peaceful and the people were from places all over the world: Korea, Liberia, the Middle East, etc.  There I met one kid whose father had helped come up with a language for Liberians and based it off of a Native American language writing system because the two languages had so many grammatical similarities.  Many of the teachers there were fluent in languages spoken in Papua New Guinea. I loved all the classes. I was at perfect peace there.  I was closer to Abba just by being on that campus. There are very few places where I have physically felt nearness like that.

I have been fascinated with languages for a while now, but have been frustrated because I have not been able to immerse myself.  I was going to teach in China this year, but when I went to China I really did not like it.   And even before I left, I felt a gut “no, don’t stay, things are shady” feeling. I can speak Spanish conversationally, but understand a lot more than I speak.  I know a little bit of Czech, Mandarin, and took a year of French in highschool.  The latest kick has been Korean, which I never wanted to learn until now. It was not on “the list”. haha.

But Korean has been so much fun.  I am only learning because I have met so many Koreans and they are so very kind. I love the way that they express themselves.  They are so animated.  In fact, I told my ex-boyfriend that I absolutely did NOT want to go to South Korea, that I would go anywhere else but anywhere near China, but I am beginning to recant.  lol.  Plus, it has not been hard to find the resources I need to learn for very cheap.  Check out ww.koreanclass101.com for a cheap way to learn, I can give you a coupon code, and it comes with accompanying pdf files. Unlike Mandarin, which has over 5500 pictures, and is pictorially based, Korean is phonetically based and you can learn the alphabet and be writing in a matter of two hours.  You can also lookup busyatom.com for a free way to learn on youtube. He really cracks me up! There’s 99 free lessons on youtube. 

Okay, so Korean is a tangent in two senses.  Haha. Unexpected language to learn, and a subconversation framed by the larger conversation.  I think I mentioned it because I have been finding solace in studying, and has been easy to learn compared to Czech or Mandarin.  Unless I pick that as my language of concentration for my Master’s— then it is VERY important.  lol.

But I digress.  I also want to go to Poland to study Central and Eastern European Studies, because this part of the world fascinates me, and I want to travel that part of the world extensively, but I am a little apprehensive.  It will cost me 8,000 for tuition, I am not eligible for grants as a foreigner, and I will need money to live for the first month, and work on top of school.  Thus, I would have to take out a loan.  And except for my PhD at a top University or my house mortgage, I do not believe in purchasing anything I do not have the money for, including school. So if this is supposed to happen, I will have to pray the money in and keep working 60 hour weeks.  Or maybe I should slow down and only do one at a time.  haha.  Or maybe go to Europe and just work— who knows.

Anyhow, it is obvious I need prayer to choose not what I want to do, but where Abba is.  I want to do everything.  I am passionate about so much! But in my heart I only want to do where He leads.  This is all silly, all of it, if He wants me to be another place at another time doing another thing. I have gotten to the place where that is fine, too, as  long as He is there.